(Editor’s Note: As the United States prepares for its inevitable takeover by special interests, Sojourners recently sat down with the godfather of them all, the National Rifle Association.)
Sojourners: Thank you for coming. Umm, is that a costume you’re wearing? I mean, those horns make you look like ...
NRA: What costume?
Sojourners: Never mind. Sir, a terrible tragedy recently took place in Tucson, one laid squarely at the feet of a handgun.
NRA: Handguns do not have feet.
Sojourners: You know what I mean. Your insistence on almost no control of guns is one of the most outrageous abuses of our democratic system.
NRA: Guns don’t kill people, people do.
Sojourners: You never get tired of saying that, do you?
NRA: Not at all. Would you like me to say it again?
Sojourners: Each year, more than 30,000 Americans are killed by guns.
NRA: It’s the price we pay for free-dom.
Sojourners: Eight children a day die from gun violence.
NRA: It’s the price we pay for ...
Sojourners: Stop with the empty words! Don’t you think you have some responsibility here?
NRA: Actually, no. I believe the blame can be laid squarely at the feet of inflammatory political rhetoric.
Sojourners: Inflammatory political rhetoric does not have feet.
NRA: As I was saying, there has been a regrettable coarsening of our public discourse, and we need to keep talking about it.
Sojourners: That way we don’t talk about guns, right?
NRA: Precisely. Because guns don’t kill people, freedom does. No, wait. Sorry, we only have two talking points, and sometimes I get them mixed up.
Sojourners: So, how much does freedom cost these days?