Those of you in the hinterlands—when you’re not taking care of your hinter—are probably wondering what life is like now in Washington, D.C., the nation’s capital, the most powerful city in the world, or as Pentagon officials have helpfully pointed out, a "target-rich environment."
Well, there’s one thing that’s true: We’re sure as heck not scared! Nope, Washington, D.C., is getting back to normal. People are going to work, shopping, eating out, and pretty much doing what they always did. At least, I think they are. It’s hard to tell, since I’m crouched here under my desk, sucking my thumb and hoping my mommy calls.
But seriously, with a few exceptions, our lives are really no different than yours. We still put our pants on one leg at a time, after checking for booby traps. We still shop for life’s staples: milk, eggs, gas mask filters. And, like you, we still have the freedom to just get in our cars and drive anywhere we want, the only difference being we never actually get there, on account of the Humvees. And the soldiers who, under strict orders not to use racial profiling, are stopping everybody who doesn’t look like a member of the Osmond family.
The reasons are clear, of course, as law enforcement officers continue to search for followers of the man who has distorted religion for his own devious purposes, the man whose adherents are even now living and working among us—possibly even next door to you—waiting for instructions from this twisted usurper who makes a mockery of God.
But enough about Pat Robertson. Let’s get back to life in our nation’s capital, a town that has the "can do" attitude to come together in a crisis and, in unison, pee in our pants whenever a car backfires.
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