H'rumphs Video With Ed Spivey Jr.

This is my first column in our bold new magazine design, which was created to bring state-of-the-art publishing innovations to our readers. Also, we were bored with the old design. But now I only have room for 600 award-winning words, compared to the 800 award-winning words before. And now I only have 544 words left. Make that 536 words. Okay, 532. (Can you believe somebody actually has to fact-check this?) Doesthiscountasoneword? Working in this small space, I'm reminded of Ernest Hemingway who, on a bar bet, wrote the world's shortest novel: "Bartender ignores alcoholic author. Dies horribly." No, that wasn't it. Now I remember: "For sale: Baby shoes, never worn." (I'll pause briefly so readers can pull themselves together.)